12 Lessons in 12 Years! See How Bola & Femi Maintain a Happy & Healthy Marriage

BNW December 20, 20240 Comments

Marriage is truly a journey, and the farther you go, the more you uncover different layers of love, growth, and beauty.

It feels like just yesterday when we featured Bola and Femi’s beautiful wedding story. Then came their 10th renewal and 11th anniversary.—each milestone filled with so much love and inspiration. Today, they’re celebrating yet another incredible chapter in their love story: their 12th wedding anniversary!

Staying true to their tradition, they’ve graced us with stunning photos from their anniversary shoot. Every frame tells a story of love, resilience, and joy that continues to blossom with time. They also shared 12 lessons they’ve learned that have helped them maintain a happy, healthy, and Godly marriage. It’s certainly an interesting read you don’t want to miss.

Enjoy their anniversary shoot below:

Bola and Femi share 12 lessons they’ve learned that have helped them maintain a happy, healthy, and Godly marriage:

1. Communication Is Everything
Open and honest communication creates a safe space for connection. For us, this includes having regular “check-ins” to discuss our feelings, goals, and even frustrations. We pray for wisdom to communicate with love and understanding, knowing that listening is just as important as speaking.
2. Love Is a Choice Rooted in God’s Love
Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a decision to show kindness, patience, and grace every day. We strive to model Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church (Ephesians 5:25) in how we serve and honor each other, even during difficult times.

3. Never Stop Learning About Each Other
Growth is a part of life, and so is learning about your spouse as they evolve. We make it a priority to spend time exploring each other’s passions, dreams, and thoughts. This keeps our connection fresh and helps us adapt to each other’s needs over time.
4. Prioritize Quality Time Together
In our busy lives, intentional time together is non-negotiable. We prioritize daily conversations, weekly dates and activities, evening walks, travels and more reconnect. These moments remind us of the joy in simply being together.

5. Forgiveness Reflects God’s Grace
None of us are perfect, but God’s grace has taught us to forgive one another quickly and wholeheartedly (Colossians 3:13). We’ve learned to address issues prayerfully and let go of offenses, knowing that forgiveness brings healing and peace.
6. Be Each Other’s Biggest Supporter
We celebrate each other’s wins—big or small—and encourage one another during tough seasons. Whether it’s cheering on personal milestones or offering words of affirmation, we aim to be a constant source of support.

7. Surround Yourselves with Like-Minded Couples
Being around other happy, healthy and Godly couples has been one of the greatest blessings in our marriage. Whether through couples’ retreats, small groups, or friendships, these relationships have inspired us, held us accountable, and reminded us that we’re not alone in this journey. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), and surrounding yourself with others who value faith and commitment can uplift your marriage.
8. Faith Anchors Everything
Our faith in God is the cornerstone of our marriage. We pray together daily, share devotions, and seek His guidance in all decisions. Inviting God into our marriage has given us strength, clarity, and purpose.

9. Practice Gratitude Daily
Gratitude changes everything. We make it a habit to thank each other for the little things—like making coffee in the morning or helping with the kids. We also thank God daily for the gift of each other, knowing that gratitude strengthens love.
10. Don’t Compare Your Marriage to Others
Comparison is a trap. Instead of looking outward, we focus on what works for our marriage. We remind ourselves that God has a unique plan for us, and we trust Him to shape our story in His perfect way.

11. Handle Conflict with Love and Prayer
Disagreements are inevitable, but how we handle them is what matters. We’ve learned to pause, pray, and approach conflicts with humility. We try to address and resolve all matters within 24 hours. Speaking with kindness and seeking solutions together ensures that conflicts strengthen rather than divide us.
12. Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract
We view our marriage as a covenant before God—a lifelong commitment to love, honor, and serve each other through all seasons. With this perspective, we approach every challenge with perseverance, knowing that God’s grace will sustain us.

These lessons didn’t come overnight, but through prayer, effort, and God’s faithfulness. We’ve made it a point to build habits like family prayer, consistent date nights, and time in God’s Word to ensure our marriage remains healthy and thriving. As we look back on 12 years, we are filled with gratitude for the journey and excited for the future. Marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s one of God’s greatest blessings, and we are extremely blessed to have each other.