Hey family, Adanna here! In this category, my husband, David and I will be exploring all things relationship and how we navigate our way through life as a couple. We felt it was important to start with this very important topic because it serves as a strong foundation for building a relationship with someone else. We will be discussing “A little Bit of Self-love will do”.

You see, before your soulmate arrives and asks you to dance, you must first learn to dance solo. You must learn the steps, find your rhythm and figure out what kind of dance style you enjoy. You must first discover what music makes your heart sing and your feet move. Understand what emotions are sparked when your feet are stepped on, and how to deal with it. Before your soulmate takes you to the dance floor, you must first be a dancer. This is what self-love is all about.  If you want to build a healthy and happy relationship, you must love yourself first.

Self-love is a concept that in recent times has been thrown around a lot. However, many people are unsure of how to approach it. It starts with self-awareness. A deep reflection and understanding of who you are: your values, principles, shortcomings, flaws etc and being comfortable with it regardless. You know why? A clearer understanding and appreciation of yourself will let you choose what life partner you let into your space. It is the foundation of a mutually beneficial relationship. The same way that you cannot pour from an empty glass, you cannot give your partner the sole responsibility of filling up your empty glass. You need to do the groundwork first.

Here are a few ways to arrive at self-love:

Spend time with yourself

A lot of us seek company elsewhere, we’ve been conditioned that way. Understandably so, human beings are social by nature. However, it is important to learn how to spend time alone and get to know the person you expect someone else to love, which is you. In your solo times, you could engage in things like journaling, meditation, taking long walks, reflecting on life, setting goals etc.

Enrich your mind

We underestimate the power of books. All the great leaders, both past and present, swear by the power of books. I know not many people enjoy reading in the traditional way, but we are lucky to live in the digital age of audiobooks. Here are a few great book recommendations: 

• Find Your Why by Simon Sinek: If you read nothing else, you should definitely read this one. This is a book that challenges you to discover your purpose. Personally, discovering your purpose on earth is the most powerful asset you’ll have.
• The Secret by Rhonda Byrne: A self-help book that sets you on a path to discovering success.
• The Code Of The Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani: This is one I am currently indulging in. It is a book that provides a new framework for understanding and enhancing the human self.

Personal development

Developing yourself isn’t something that should stop the moment you receive your university degree. Here are a few ways to develop yourself:

• Seek out online courses that can give you a deeper insight into something you’re passionate about.
• Never underestimate the power of a good mentor or life coach. 
• Travel to places you’ve never been. It doesn’t have to be outside the country you live in. A lot of hidden jewels are around you, so seek them out and enjoy the adventure.
• Don’t be afraid to try new things: cooking classes, dancing, photography. You never know what hidden talents you have.

With all the self-love suggestions I’ve listed above, it’s most important to trust and enjoy the process. Life is about enjoying the journey, rather than focusing on the destination. Some people realise what they truly want and who they are in their early 20s, some reach this level in their mid-30s or even much later on in life, but it doesn’t matter because we are all on different paths. 

Hopefully, this post serves as a good starting point on your journey of self-love.

We hope you enjoy reading from us.
Best wishes,
Adanna & David